Crooked morals
General - 11/4/2007 at 10:36 CET
This story took place some time ago, and I’m not bringing it up to get back at anyone. I even doubt the people involved will be reading this. I merely thought it’d make an interesting read, so here is a short version of the whole mess.
A couple of years back, I won an award for a site of mine. Nothing extraordinary, but something I took pride in nevertheless. The reward should’ve been delivered to me, but right after the contest ended, there were some problems amongst the organizers and a delay occurred. I was reasonable and put no pressure on anyone and decided to let them take care of the problems and wait for my reward. After all, had I gotten into similar problems, I’d not want anyone breathing behind by back.
I decided not to even bother anyone with phone calls then — e-mails are much nicer. So, from time to time, I sent an e-mail to the person in charge of the whole thing. Sometimes, he didn’t reply to an e-mail, but that was OK. I didn’t even get mad or anything when he claimed he didn’t receive the previous mail I sent. Although, you gotta admit it’s highly unlikely, that an IT professional, a person that communicates via e-mail non-stop doesn’t receive an e-mail. There was no bounce. Maybe the e-mail was lost somewhere between here and there. I realized his excuse was not a valid one, but that was OK. I was in no rush.
Some time passed, without any news. The problems, as the man-in-charge wrote, were not due to his errors: other people did not hold up to their end of the deal and naturally he needs time to sort things out with them. I started to call him at his office, just to make sure he would not forget about me. Plus, e-mail is unreliable. He then supposedly had an accident and injured his neck on one of his business trips, so that caused more delays.
By this time, months have passed since my reward should’ve been in my hands. Instead of leaving him wrestle with all his issues, I proposed that we forget about that particular reward and that he buys be some books instead. It was easier and quicker for both of us, so we agreed on that and I sent him my wish list. It consisted of a few web-design books, the price of which was smaller than that of the reward I should’ve gotten. After this agreement, everything seemed pretty much OK and I expected the books to arrive at my home address soon.
I was wrong. No books arrived.
I called the man-in-charge and asked him where does he think the problem is now. He said that the package is probably on its way, perhaps it takes more time for it to fly over to us, he said. Bollocks. An Amazon package arrives within a couple of days. I simply said “OK” and gave him a bit more time. After all, he was injured, so I let him take care of it in his own time. I was in no rush.
More time passed, and passed quickly, but no books showed up at my doorstep. When I called, he said that he doesn’t know where the problem is and that the books should’ve been here. I politely said that I’d continue to wait. Then summer came along, a busy time of the year in his office. It became more and more difficult to reach him there. A nice lady at the desk asked me who I was every single time I called, although I introduced myself at the beginning of each of our conversations. She probably checked their “black list” for my name, or something. And every time I called, she replied that the man-in-charge just left and that I should call back. She never knew when he was going to get back to the office, that’s how busy he was. Always on the run, never able to call me back. After a dozen of phone calls, she ran out of excuses. I felt sorry for her, making her lie to cover for her boss. You could tell just by the tone of her voice, how uncomfortable she was by the whole thing. And all because of a couple of books and a man not being man enough.
Then, he decided to go on vacation, leaving it all behind. I asked when he’ll be back and wrote down the date. That’s when I started calling him again, but the lady at the desk managed to come up with more silly excuses. She was probably very, very, very glad the day I stopped calling.
I then got a hold of his cellphone number. I was not desperate and I did not try hard to get it, I just knew a colleague who had it, who had no problem giving it to me. One day, I decided to give the man-in-charge a call. I politely introduced myself, although there was no real need for this, because by this time, he knew my voice very well. Now he too was in an awkward situation and now he too was feeling uncomfortable. And so he should have. He squeezed out a lie, telling me he has not got time to speak to me, because he is in a middle of an important meeting. He told me he was extremely busy, but he would call me as soon as he finds a bit of time. Nice one, eh? How much time do you need to order a couple a books from Amazon? But, of course, he couldn’t do that then, because he already told several lies and those books were not really in the mail. He thought I did not know he’s lying, because all the time I was holding back I did not let him know what I was thinking or feeling. I was nothing but polite and understandable from the word go. I had nothing but respect and patience when dealing with a colleague that is probably twice my age. And to him, I was probably just a naive youngster. Someone he though he could fool.
He did not phone me, of course, although he promised to do so. As understandable as I might be, I do not think highly of people who do not keep their promises. I would’ve let the whole thing go if he would’ve just kept that one promise he made.
More time passed. By that time, more than a year and a half, after I won the contest. You’ve read that right. More than eighteen months to keep a promise.
One nice, sunny day, I decided to be a pain in his ass. I called him on his cellphone, but, as you’re guessing by now, he did not answer. I started the phone calls in the morning. I tried his office, too, he was not there. I tried a few dozen times, at the very least. No luck, same old story. I continued to try to reach him the whole day long, until late afternoon. Then I sat down and wrote a post at a forum where he posted daily. Yup, he had time to write posts, and he’s not a two-word poster either, but no time to call me. I knew that by posting on that forum I’d get his full attention. I described the whole thing, up to that point, in that post. I was discrete and polite, still playing my role. I never named names, but I knew that several important community members would have a pretty good idea of who is who. Others would be guessing. And even though my post was anonymous, they would probably guess right. By doing that, I put his reputation into a bit of a danger.
Literally minutes after I posted the story, the man-in-charge gave me a call. This was the very first time he called me, not the other way around. I hoped to get him to do that, but I did not expect he would react so soon.
He immediately started to turn things round. He accused me of foul play and insisted that none of the problems were caused by him. He had some nerve, wouldn’t you say? I maintained my cool and let him do the talking for the first ten or fifteen minutes of the conversation. He said that the package got lost and he intended to pay for another one, but since I accused him of such terrible things in my post, he had no intention of paying for nothing. If the books come, he’d give them away to a library, he said. Which was also silly, because the books ought to have arrived at my address, not his. I just said “OK, do whatever you feel like”. After his initial attacks got no response from me (I barely told a word, letting him bury himself), he changed his tactic. Obviously, he thought I’d go public with the story and shit his pants a couple of times.
Little by little, he was letting me know he’d order the books (”again”) and that he wants to forget the whole deal. The middle part of the conversation was where I laid out the facts, which are enough for anyone to see he is to blame for the whole mess, but still he insisted nothing was his fault. He insisted he is nothing but an honest man. I kept my mouth shut, but came close to puking at one point. He also told me I was simply at the bottom end of his daily to-do list, which is huge. What can you say to that?
We spoke for probably 45 minutes. I cost him a lot of his precious time that afternoon. At the end of that telephone torture, after some more monologue, he said he’d order the books right away. I just replied “OK”.
Five minutes after we ended the conversation, he called again. He needed me to send the info again. He did not even know which books I had wanted. Two or three days later, I got my package and that was the end of it.
The moral of the story? Do not let anyone make a fool out of you. You know better.
I hate situations like that, and I have been in a couple of them myself, even wrote about one of them on my blog - also avoiding any names as you are here. After some intense conversation in the comments and other places, I have realized that I have done the worst thing (for me) I could do at that point - I played it cool - like you did.
People like these prey on people who try to avoid confrontation - obviously you’re one of us yourself - and hope that “we’ll just forget it”. To hell with that, go public on his ass, ruin a bit (or whole) of his reputation and see them change their game. They just need to be learned a lesson, now I know that, and the next time I’ll act on it.
Author: Dragan Babić, April 11th, 2007 at 15:01
Way to hang in there and keep your cool. On one hand I understand what it’s like to be busy, but this guy obviously intended to brush you off and skip out on his obligation to you. You just can’t do that to people in the web industry. We know how to get attention and shed light on shady practices. Just look at all the negative press that LogoMaid has gotten recently.
Author: Jason Beaird, April 11th, 2007 at 15:16
@Dragan: I agree with you on taking more action.
It’s really sad, when something like that happens. Sometimes we get disappointed simply by expecting others to do what we would’ve done in their place.
@Jason: yes, good example. The LogoMaid fiasco is unbelievable.
Author: Bojan, April 11th, 2007 at 18:44
Wow, I was cringing the entire time I was reading this post. Good on you for keeping your professionalism throughout, you must have the patience of a saint. It’s always a disappointment when people’s excuses turn to outright lies. Perhaps the saddest thing is that the award organizers, whoever he/they may be, probably treat many of their other professional associates with the same lack of courtesy.
Author: Jonathan Nicol, July 17th, 2007 at 23:41